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- Workers at Rubbish In, Robish Out demanding more beer. No one can be expected to work at a place like this sober. The Supreme Court has ruled against cruel and unusual punishment for heaven's sake.
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Sep. 29, 2016
Riding Roller Coasters May Help People Pass Kidney Stones: In a rather surprising find, a Michigan State University study conducted at Walt Disney World in Florida determined that riding roller coasters actually helps people pass kidney stones with far less pain and no need for surgery. Yeah, well good luck trying to get your insurance company to spring for the cost of a round trip ticket to Disney Word!
Hubble Spots Salty Water Plumes on Jupiter’s Moon Europa: Astronomers say they have spotted evidence of salty water vapor plumes rising from Jupiter’s moon Europa, a finding that might make it easier to learn whether life exists in the warm, salty ocean hidden beneath Europa’s icy surface. Oh course, something like this could never work here on Earth with our finicky health trends, we’d be like “excuse me, but this primordial soup is way too salty. Please take it back.”
Link Found Between Pesticide Exposure and Lower IQs: Three independent studies have found that children exposed to high pesticide levels in the womb have lower average IQs than other children. In response, doctors are cautioning pregnant women not to have their wombs sprayed with pesticides, even if its done by a licensed professional.
by Johnny Robish © Copyright 2016
Elon Musk Unveils Plan to Colonize Mars
Sep. 28, 2016
Sep. 28, 2016
Elon Musk Unveils Plan to Colonize Mars: Billionaire tech entrepreneur Elon Musk has finally unveiled his hotly-anticipated plan to send humans to live on Mars. I may not be the visionary Elon Musk is – but frankly, I don’t get it. I mean, if someone has their heart set on living in an inhospitable environment where there is no cultural life, no breathable air and probably no potable water, why not just move to Flint, Michigan or Cleveland?
Study Suggests Humans Predisposed to Murder: New research out of Spain suggests that humans are predisposed to murder each other, but it still remains unclear whether it’s because of genetics or if other factors are involved. To prevent further violence, researchers suggest that everyone immediately go to the nearest police station and turn themselves in.

Eagles Carson Wentz Named NFC Offensive Player of the Week: After his stellar performance against the Steelers in which he completed 23 of 31 attempts for 301 yards and two touchdowns in a 34-3 win, Philadelphia Eagles star rookie Carson Wentz has been named the NFC Offensive Player of the Week. I don’t get it, what’s so offensive about that?
by Johnny Robish © Copyright 2016
First-Ever Baby Born With DNA From Three People
Sep. 27, 2016
Sep. 27, 2016
First-Ever Baby Born With DNA From Three People: Hoping to prevent a child from inheriting a fatal genetic disease from its mother, scientists say a baby has been born using a new technique that combines DNA from three different people. Geez, talk about “who’s your daddy?” And when he gets older, I can see him telling friends “My mother? Let me tell you about my Mother!” Not to mention he will become the first person who can legitimately brag about being conceived during a 3-way. Of course, a procedure like this always brings up ethical questions, such as according to the new labeling laws, will the child need to be categorized as a GMO?
Study Finds Rats Can Show Compassion: New experiments from the University of Chicago show rats demonstrating compassion by helping other rodents, a trait previously thought to occur in only humans and higher primates. Well, guess we can no longer accurately refer to Congress as “a bunch of rats.”
Donald Trump Repeats His Attack on Alicia Machado’s Weight: Donald Trump surprised many during the recent presidential debate with Hillary Clinton by repeating his criticism of Alicia Machado’s weight gain after she won his 1996 Miss Universe contest. And while his words may sound offensive to some, it’s important to remember that Donald Trump is a really buffed gym rat who’s whole life has been centered around health, nutrition and physical fitness. After the debate, Trump defended his attack on Alicia Machado by pointing out that “feminist chicks really dig me.”
by Johnny Robish © Copyright 2016
Snake Charmer Dies During Viper Demo
Sep. 26, 2016
Sep. 26, 2016
Snake Charmer Dies During Viper Demo: A German “snake charmer” has died after being bitten by a viper during an event aimed at helping audiences overcome their fear of snakes. A snake charmer bitten by a snake? I’ll have to assume the snake must not have found him all that charming. My question is, why would anyone want to teach people to overcome a fear of venomous snakes?
Researchers Say Stonehenge Was Ancient Graveyard: British researchers have proposed a new theory for the origins of Stonehenge – that it may have started as a giant burial ground for elite families around 3,000 B.C. That said, scientists admit its just a theory and nothing is written in stone.
Deadly White-Nose Syndrome Attacks Bats: Biologists say a plague know as “white-nose syndrome” has been decimating bat populations across the nation for the past three years. In related news, an epidemic of “brown-nose syndrome” seems to be spreading across human work places throughout the US.
by Johnny Robish © Copyright 2016
Libertarian Johnson Urging Humanity To Inhabit Other Planets
Sep. 25, 2016
Sep. 25, 2016

Libertarian Johnson Urging Humanity To Inhabit Other Planets: In a recent interview with George Stephanopoulos, Libertarian presidential nominee Gary Johnson suggested that because of things such as global warming and the fact the sun will eventually grow and encompass the Earth, we had better start to consider sending people to other planets. Wow, this has sure been some election! Trump wants to deport everyone out of the country and now Gary Johnson wants to send us to another planet.
North Korea Holds It’s First Air Show: In a bid to attract tourists to the isolated country, North Korea held its first-ever air show showcasing it’s civilian and aerial might at it’s Kalma International Airport. Shortly after the event, people in attendance were already comparing it to the Wright Brothers first flight at Kitty Hawk – literally.
Most Polled Feel Santa is a Democrat: A new poll found that 44 percent of Americans think Santa Claus is a Democrat, while 28 percent believe he is a Republican. The other 28 percent say “ah, there ain’t no Santee Claus!”
by Johnny Robish © Copyright 2016
Extramarital Affair Costs General His Job
Sep. 24, 2016
Sep. 24, 2016
Extramarital Affair Costs General His Job: An internal investigation has cost US Army National Guard Brigadier General Michael E Bobeck his job after it was determined he had extramarital affair and “misused Army resources.” While I’m no expert on military law, I’m assuming that the “misuse of Army resources” must be a reference to his penis.
British Man Builds Electric Chair to Kill Wife: A man in Great Britain has been arrested after building a homemade electric chair in his garage and then attempting to electrocute his wife in it. When asked why he would try to electrocute his poor wife, the man said he felt its more humane than lethal injection.
Crocodiles Mysteriously Dying in Northern India: Authorities say as many as 26 endangered crocodiles have been mysteriously found dead in northern India. I guess we don’t need to ask what kind of tears were shed for them.
by Johnny Robish © Copyright 2016

















