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Friday January 30 2015

Most Expensive Photo Ever Taken Sold

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Jan. 29, 2015

Andreas Gursky's “Rhine II Most Expensive Photo Ever Taken Sold:  Andreas Gursky’s “Rhine II,” a photograph which showcases a desolate, featureless landscape, the parallel lines of a road, the Rhine River as well as the horizon, has become the most expensive photograph ever taken when it sold at Christie’s Auction House for $4.4 million.  Funny, because I just downloaded it off the internet for free.  A Christie’s spokesperson said the buyer will most likely not make a comment on the purchase until he’s completely sobered up.


Dinosaur NeckNew Dinosaur Species Discovered by Construction Workers:  Construction workers in China have uncovered a new species of dinosaur from the late Jurassic period, that is said to take long necks to a whole new level.  First of all, many of the construction workers I’ve met are themselves dinosaurs and the long necks are most likely there to allow them to get a good look at the passing ladies.


Merced County JailMerced County Jail Goes Solar:  Merced County, California’s is going solar, announcing that it has just commissioned a 1.4-megawatt photovoltaic unit to power the county’s correctional facilities in El Nido, Calif.  Which now has death row inmates spending a good deal of their time praying for rain.

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Human Skull Found in Israel Sheds Light on Migration

Jan. 28, 2015

Scientist-seeks-Adventurous-Woman-to-give-birth-to-cloned-neanderthal-800x430Human Skull Found in Israel Sheds Light on Migration:  Scientists say that a 55,000-year-old human skull found in Israel sheds light on human migration and sex with our Neanderthal cousins.  In a rather unorthodox move, researches say they bypassed traditional archeological methods such as carbon-dating in reconstructing the fossil’s history, instead using Ancestry.Com.


Texas Elementary SchoolTexas Elementary School Orders Poop Inspections:  After repeatedly finding poop on the gym floor, officials at a Texas elementary school rounded up students and ordered them to pull down their pants so educators could see if there were any tell-tale fecal stains.  Wow, sounds like they were willing to try anything to crack this case wide open.


Elderly SexStudy Finds People Over 70 Still Having Lots of Sex:  The University of Manchester polled 7000 people and found that people well into their 70s and 80s are continuing to enjoy healthy, active sex lives.  Yea, either that or 70 and 80-year-old’s lie about having sex just as much as 20-year-old’s do.

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Scientists Find Pain Reliever in Coffee Similar to Morphine

Jan. 27, 2015

CoffeeScientists Find Pain Reliever in Coffee Similar to Morphine:  Brazilian scientists say they’ve discovered a protein in coffee that has effects similar to the pain reliever morphine.  Of course the obvious difference being that morphine is significantly cheaper than Starbucks.


Sleep AidsSleep Aids Tied to Greater Dementia Risk for Seniors:  New findings show that people over age 65 who frequently take over-the-counter sleep aids may be increasing their risk of dementia.  That said, researchers say its nothing anyone should lose any sleep over.


BullBull Who Fathered 500,000 Offspring Dies:  A 2,700-pound name bull named Toystory, who is believed to have sired a record-breaking half million offspring, has died.  Geez, a half million offspring?  Not even the Kennedys were that prolific.

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Marshall Island Search for Amelia Earhart

Jan. 26, 2015

Amelia EarhartMarshall Island Search for Amelia Earhart:  A search is under way on a remote atoll in the Marshall Islands aimed at solving the mysterious disappearance of aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart.  I know this is gonna be somewhat controversial, but my guess is her plane was brought down by gravity.


NeanderthalsNeanderthals May Have Sailed the Mediterranean:  Researchers say neanderthals and other extinct human lineages may have been ancient mariners, cruising the Mediterranean islands thousands of years earlier than previously thought.  Neanderthals cruising the Mediterranean?   And to think we thought those Carnival Cruises were poorly run.


double_cross_1Double Cross Vodka Event at Le Merigot Hotel:  Just left the bar at the Le Merigot Hotel in Santa Monica where there were about 30 employees hanging out from Double Cross Vodka.  Some of them even promised to buy me a drink, but as you may expect, I got “Double Crossed.  As I was leaving the bar, I yelled back at them “you dirty Double Crossers.”

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NFL Warns Marshawn Lynch About Crotch-Grabbing

Jan. 25, 2015

Marshawn LynchNFL Warns Marshawn Lynch About Crotch-Grabbing:  The NFL has warned the Seattle Seahawks and running back Marshawn Lynch that it will crack down even more than it already has if Lynch should grab his crotch again after a touchdown.  Cut the poor guy some slack.  He’s probably just checking to make sure his balls haven’t been deflated.


Stephen HawkingHawking Says Artificial Intelligence Could End Human Race:  The eminent British physicist Stephen Hawking warns that the development of intelligent machines could eventually pose a major threat to humanity.  Which, when you think about it, is kind of interesting coming from a guy who’s totally dependent upon machines and software.


Police stand guard outside a Home Depot store following a shooting in the Manhattan borough of New YorkTwo Dead in Manhattan Home Depot Shooting:  Police say two people are dead following a shooting at a Home Depot store in Manhattan.  Fortunately, most Home Depot employees were not in danger because they were already well-hidden from customers in their usual hiding spots like the rest room, break room and stock room.

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Decomposing Bodies Found at Arkansas Funeral Home

Jan. 24, 2015

Arkansas Funeral HomeDecomposing Bodies Found at Arkansas Funeral Home:  An Arkansas funeral home has had its license suspended after an inspector found bodies stacked in a cooler packed beyond capacity and other decomposing bodies that hadn’t been embalmed lying out in the open.  Sounds like they were just letting all their work pile up on them.  The funeral director says he hopes people will judge them not by this mistake, but by their whole “body” of work.  Local Arkansas officials say that as far as they can tell, there were no fatalities.


Wade BoggsWade Boggs Guide Fined for Wildlife Violations on Sheep Hunt:  A Montana man has been ordered to pay a $3,000 fine after pleading guilty to federal wildlife violations while leading former Boston Red Sox third baseman Wade Boggs on a 2009 sheep hunt in Alaska.  Call me a prude, but I’m pretty sure I don’t wanna know what those violations were.


War MedalsLying About Earning War Medals Is Protected Speech:  A divided Supreme Court overturned a law that made it a crime to lie about having earned a military decoration, saying that the act was an unconstitutional infringement on free speech.  Now I have never lied my military decorations, but I have been known to lie about Christmas decorations.

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