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Friday August 18 2017

White Supremacist Chris Cantwell Booted From Dating Site OkCupid

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Aug. 17, 2017

White Supremacist Chris Cantwell Booted From Dating Site OkCupid:  Dating site OkCupid has announced they have banned white supremacist leader Chris Cantwell for life after learning he was a member of the popular dating website.  Luckily for Cantwell, there’s a dating site called OKStupid which is tailor-made for the dating needs of people like him.


Earliest Signs of Advanced Tool Making Found in Kenya:  A new geological study, being reported in the journal Nature, showed that tools made by hominid Homo Erectus from a site near Lake Turkana in Kenya were made about 1.76 million years ago.  Archeologists say that while tools made by Homo Erectus are considered extremely rare, there are still some being sold under the Sears Craftsman label.


Many Americans Consider Their Workplace An Office Hell:  One of the most in-depth studies of its kind by the American Working Conditions Survey found that a massive 20% of workers say they face hostile or threatening environments at work.  I can totally relate as I face this issue every single day and the sad thing is, I work alone at home.

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Long Lost Engagement Ring Turns Up Wrapped Around Carrot

Aug. 16, 2017

Long Lost Engagement Ring Turns Up Wrapped Around Carrot:  An Alberta woman found her 84-year-old mother-in-law’s lost engagement ring – lost 13 years ago while pulling weeds in her yard – wrapped around one of the carrots she pulled from her mother-in-law’s backyard garden.  Now I knew trees had rings, but who knew carrots had them too?  In addition, a local jeweler informed the woman her ring has increased in value by one carrot since it had been lost.  Frankly, I’m just surprised it didn’t turnip sooner – she’s bean looking for it a long time now.


Cities Quietly Removing Confederate Memorials:  In the aftermath of the recent deadly Charlottesville protests, mayors and city officials across the nation are quickly and quietly removing any Confederate memorials they may have within their jurisdictions.  Observers say these Confederate memorials seem to be disappearing faster than CEO’s from President Trump’s Business Councils.


Bizarre Dinosaur is Missing Evolutionary Link:  Researchers say an unusual vegetarian dinosaur called Chilesaurus – who had the silhouette of a flesh-ripping velociraptor – whose fossilized remains were unearthed in southern Chile 13 years ago, is a missing link in dinosaur evolution.  OK – fine, but that still doesn’t tell us whether the creature was simply a regular vegetarian or was it a vegan?  Don’t you think we have the right to know if this “vegetarian” Chilesaurus also abstained from cheese and dairy?  I mean, is that too much to ask?

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Trump Calls Out Alt-Left for Charlottesville Violence

Aug. 15, 2017

Trump Calls Out Alt-Left for Charlottesville Violence:  In perhaps his most bizarre press conference yet, President Donald Trump once again refused to forcefully denounce white supremacist protesters, instead basically laying blame for the Charlottesville violence on what he described as the “alt-left,” and then took some time to also promote his Virginia winery.  Wow, that was quick.  Donald must’ve taken a nice lunch meeting with Steve Bannon.  So if I understand the President correctly, he was basically telling the white supremacists “I support you and your racist views, but I disavow hate – but only on both sides.”  That ought to put everyone’s fears to rest.


LA and Honolulu Have Worst Traffic in US:  According to a recent study, Honolulu was ranked as having the second-worst traffic in the nation, only behind Los Angeles.  OK, but the question is, where would you really rather be stuck in traffic?



Gov’t Warns Against Using Hair Conditioner Following Nuclear Blast:  The Homeland Security website Ready.gov is posting a warning to citizens that – following a nuclear blast – you should wash your hair with shampoo but do not use conditioner, because conditioner can bind radioactive material to your hair.  And while its awfully nice of the Trump Administration to offer free doomsday grooming advice – I suspect that if you’re near where a nuclear bomb went off – you can pretty much expect to have a “bad hair day,” whether you use conditioner or not.  And while I’m neither hair stylist nor nuclear scientist, judging from his recent photographs, it certainly appears that Mr Trump may have used conditioner.


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Fleas in Arizona Test Positive for Bubonic Plague

Aug. 14, 2017

Fleas in Arizona Test Positive for Bubonic Plague:  Fleas in two Arizona counties have tested positive for carrying bubonic plague, an infectious disease that took the lives of millions of people in the Middle Ages.  Health officials are urging Arizona residents to – if possible – avoid these fleas and ticks like the plague.


Kentucky Group to Protest Solar Eclipse:  An ad-hoc organization called “Kentuckians for Coal” says it plans to protest all the attention the upcoming solar eclipse is generating, because it helps promote solar at the expense of the coal industry.  Good point, after all – a mine is a terrible thing to waste.


Alabama Finally Passes Bestiality Law:  The Alabama State Senate has voted 20-1 to make bestiality (zoophilia) a misdemeanor criminal offense punishable by up to one year in jail.  The one senator who voted against the bill was at Petco and couldn’t be reached for comment.

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White House Claims Condemnation Statement Included Hate Groups

Aug. 13, 2017

White House Claims Condemnation Statement Included Hate Groups:  In response to criticism for failing to directly condemn the hate groups involved in the Charlottesville alt-right rally that ended with three dead, the White House issued a statement which basically said the President meant them too.  In all fairness, the President was quick to point out that the killer was clearly not a very courteous driver.


Gene Editing Spurs Hope for Transplanting Pig Organs Into Humans:  Geneticists have created gene-edited piglets which are free of retroviruses, an important step toward opening the doors to one day creating a new supply of organs such as livers or hearts from pigs to humans for transplant.  While animal rights groups strongly oppose this procedure – I’m in favor, but only if they promise to harvest the organs from fascist pigs.


TV Anchor Fired Over Hot Mic Slip:  Weekend anchor Justin Kraemer was fired at Wichita NBC affiliate KSNW after he ended a night’s newscast with “let’s get the f**k outta here,” not realizing his mic was still hot.  Well, he’s definitely “the f**k outta there” now.


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David Duke Angry at Trump for Condemning White Nationalist Rally

Aug. 12, 2017

David Duke Angry at Trump for Condemning White Nationalist Rally:  Former KKK leader David Duke and other White Nationalist leaders are striking out at President Trump for condemning the violence at the White Nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, reminding the President that “it was White Americans who put you in the Presidency.”


Wait a minute!  That’s not completely true – the Russians did their part too!  Let’s give credit where credit’s due.  Of course not everyone who voted for Trump are White Supremacists.  On the other hand, ALL White Supremacists are Trump supporters.  Personally, if I were David Duke, I’d save all that pent-up anger for whomever gave him that miserable, creepy facelift.  I find it kind of interesting that just earlier in the week, Trump tried to start a war with North Korea and Venezuela, but ended up having his supporters start a war in Virginia instead.


Meanwhile, many right-wing pundits on TV and radio are defending the White Nationalists, claiming this “gathering” was nothing more than a “free speech rally.”  Really?  Pardon my skepticism, but it seems rather odd that people promoting “free speech” would show up brandishing bats, combat helmets, rifles, pistols, and knives.  You’d think these people would be much happier back home, beating their wives and children or kicking little kittens and puppies in the head than driving all the way to Virginia to defend a statue that basically even the pigeons have forgotten about.


But you can’t really blame Trump for not strongly calling out the White Supremacists.  After all, that would upset his base.  Remember, he’s already running for reelection.  Perhaps next time, he’ll remember to keep his dogs on a leash when taking them out in public.  Anyway, enough of me rambling on.  Bartender, can you make me another “White Russian?”


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