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Wednesday July 23 2014

Hawaii Urges Maui Residents to Watch Out for Suspicious Plants

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Jul. 22, 2014

Suspecious PlantsHawaii Urges Maui Residents to Watch Out for Suspicious Plants:  The Hawaii Department of Agriculture, in an effort to control invasive plant species on Maui, is urging all residents to report any suspicious species of plants they may come across.  Now Willie Nelson has a place on Maui – if you’re looking for suspicious plants, I can’t think of a better place to start.


FreudUK Women Not Fond of Beards:  A recent study found that most women in the UK are really are not very fond of men with beards.  I suspect Freud would have something to say about that.


Job InterviewStudy Defines Biggest Job Interview Mistakes:  A survey of hiring managers ranks answering a cellphone call or returning a text message as the most common mistakes made during a job interview.  The study concluded that probably the biggest mistake would sound something like “pardon me, I should take this, its my drug dealer” – that is, unless you’re applying for a job at a crack house.

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Groups Argue Lead Ammo Should Be Regulated

Jul. 21, 2014

Lead BulletsGroups Argue Lead Ammo Should Be Regulated:  Environmental organizations are petitioning the Environmental Protection Agency to regulate lead in ammunition as a toxic substance, pointing out that eating something that was shot with a lead bullet can lead to crippled motor coordination, severe digestive problems as well as blindness and death.  In light of this, police are advising anyone who may shoot a burglar with lead bullets to refrain from eating them afterwards.


Pile og MoneyWealth Gap Growing Between Old and Young:  A recent study found a big spike in the wealth gap between old and young in the U.S., with households headed by those over 65 being 47 times wealthier than those led by people under the age of 35.  Guess that must be what they mean when they talk about “old money.”


Silver BarsPlastic Surgeon Pays Hit Man With Silver Bars:  An Amarillo plastic surgeon allegedly paid a hit man with three silver bars worth $3000 to murder another doctor who had been dating his ex-girlfriend.  Three silver bars?  Who the hell did he hire to do the hit – the Lone Ranger?

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Ohio Town Insists Veteran Get Rid of His Therapy Ducks

Jul. 20, 2014

Vet Has Ducks for TherapyOhio Town Insists Veteran Get Rid of His Therapy Ducks:  An Army veteran in West Lafayette, Ohio is in trouble with city officials who are demanding he get rid of the 14 ducks he has been raising on his property as a form of therapy after sustaining a back injury in Iraq in 2005.  Some wonder if this might possibly make LeBron change his mind about Ohio and decide to go somewhere a little more hospitable to ducks.  City officials demand to know why he doesn’t just ride motorcycles and shoot guns like most normal Vets?  They insist that any doctor who told him to get ducks for therapy has to be a quack.


Hiker Survives on BugsStranded Hiker Survives on Bugs and Melted Snow:  A California hiker who was hiking alone on 13,000-foot Mount Goddard in northern Kings Canyon National Park, became stranded after breaking his leg, says he survived by eating melted snow and bugs.  Personally, I think that most people would frankly rather die than eat bugs and melted snow – which is basically why I recommend that no one ever leave their house.


Miss IdahoMiss Idaho Wears An Insulin Pump:  Miss Idaho, Sierra Sandison, caused quite a stir when she wore an insulin pump she uses to control her Type 1 diabetes onstage during the swimsuit competition of the beauty pageant.  Is that really an insulin pump?  I could have sworn that it was her cellphone.  The only disadvantage to the device as far as I can tell is that she can’t use an insulin pump to post to Facebook and Twitter.

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Some Human Laws Now Being Extended to Pets

Jul. 19, 2014

Pets in CourtroomSome Human Laws Now Being Extended to Pets:  With pets now being viewed less as property and more like part of the family, legal experts say laws are changing to extend some of the legal rights humans possess to their pets.  Yea, well if that’s really the case, would mind telling my neighbor’s dog that he now has the right to remain silent?


Dick'd Drive-inWoman Arrested for Dropping Pants at Seattle Burger Joint:  A Seattle woman has been arrested and booked into King County Jail for assault and harassment after she suddenly dropped her pants, tossed a condiment holder and hit an employee at a Dick’s Drive-In location in the city.  Police say they’re still trying to figure out exactly what her beef was.  Guess she figured that when you go to a place like Dick’s Drive-In, you should act like a dick.


Man-Made MilkMan-Made Cow’s Milk May Soon Hit The Market:  A new man-made milk which is made in the lab from yeast and plant sources, which will have the same proteins, fats, sugars, vitamins, minerals and have a virtually indistinguishable taste from cows’ milk, is expected to hit grocery shelves in 2016.  All I can say is “whey to go!”

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Tim McGraw Smacks Woman at Concert

Jul. 18, 2014

Tim McGrawTim McGraw Smacks Woman at Concert:  Video footage shows country singer Tim McGraw smacking a women who grabbed his crotch as he ventured out into the crowd while singing a song during a recent concert.  On a positive note, fans say that after the incident, Tim was able to effortlessly hit all the high notes for the rest of the evening. 


Saved by Pit BullPit Bull Alerts Sleeping Indiana Boy to Fire:  An Indiana family’s pit bull is being praised for alerting a deaf boy to a serious fire in his home by licking the sleeping boy’s face until he woke up and was able to escape. Firefighters say the dog was actually a new sub-breed of pit bull known as a Brad Pitt Bull. Tragically, while the boy was able to escape the fire, its unlikely he’ll ever be able to escape having to grow up in Indiana.


Casey KasemCasey Kasem’s Body Reported Missing from Funeral Home:  TMZ is reporting that Casey Kasem’s body – still unburied over a month after he passed away, has gone missing from a Tacoma, Wash., funeral home.  I’d suggest looking under the couch cushions. That’s where I always seem to find everything.  Casey’s daughter Kerri says she believes his wife Jean stole the corpse and left the country, but the funeral home is saying “no problem, Casey will be right back after these messages from our sponsors.”

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Mysterious Giant Hole Forms In Siberia

Jul. 17, 2014

Russia Siberia CraterMysterious Giant Hole Forms In Siberia:  Scientists say they’re baffled as to what could have caused a gigantic hole spanning 262 feet in diameter recently discovered in Siberia – the depth of which is not yet known.  Researchers are looking into the possibility that this hole may finally reveal where everyone’s lost socks may have ultimately ended up.


LandlineGovernment Survey Shows US Ditching Landlines:  A new government survey found that a record 40% of American households no longer have landlines.  No wonder.  What teen or 20-something wants to constantly stare at a landline?  The authors of the study were quick to add that just because people are ditching their landlines, it doesn’t mean we’re running out of land.


Mouse-Like MammalNew Mouse-Looking Mammal Related to Elephants:  Scientists say a new mammal discovered in the remote desert of western Africa resembles a long-nosed mouse in appearance, but is more closely related genetically to an elephant.  So my question is – could this mean elephants are having sex with mice?

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