Taking rumor and innuendo and passing it all off as journalism

The funniest Comedy Site on the Web (assuming you do the math correctly).

Rubbish In, Robish Out!

News and Analysis for the Heavily Medicated
(as well as those who need to be)

World Famous!

Updated Daily!

Tuesday October 21 2014

Working Overtime Linked to Depression

  • Reminding citizens that Cleveland wasn't built in a day. It just looks that way.
  • Specializing in taking legitimate news stories and transforming them into complete and utter nonsense
  • This publication is made possible in part by generous contributions from the Women's Christian Temperance Union and the American Society of Professional Colon Hydrotherapists
  • Be sure to bookmark this page and come back just as frequently as local laws permit!
  • The newly built Rubbish In, Robish Out! world headquarters in Canton, Ohio. A local organization of "Concerned Citizens for Decency" argues that this facility appears to be little more than a factory for debauchery, misdeeds and general mayhem.
  • No Animal Testing: In response to the many inquiries from animal rights activists, we emphatically deny the allegations that the jokes found on any these pages have first been tested out on animals.
  • Crowds reacting as the latest issue of Rubbish In, Robish Out! rolls off the presses.
  • A portion of every laugh produced by this website is donated to charity.
  • The Babe at the office!
  • Talk about having a bad day!
  • Above is the lunch counter where the titans of the entertainment industry meet when they say "let's do lunch!"
  • Alltop, all the top stories
  • 081209newsman

Oct. 20, 2014

Working OvertimeWorking Overtime Linked to Depression:  A new study found that people who work a lot of overtime have a more-than-doubled risk of a major depressive episode, compared with those who work the standard eight-hour day.  Researches say the workers don’t immediately become depressed, it just happens “over time.”


SwansMan Drowns After Being Attacked By Swans:  An Illinois man has drowned after getting attacked by the swans in the pond that he was employed to take care of.  Let’s hope this incident makes parents think twice about telling their ugly-duckling children that they’ll one-day turn into swans.


Guns Controlled by MindFuture Weapons May Be Mentally Controlled:  British researchers say new advances in neuroscience could allow future soldiers to control weapons systems simply by using their minds, thereby allowing paralyzed people to use weapons also.  Its touching to know that no one’s gonna be left out on all the killing.

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

No comments

Frozen Poop Pills Fight Life-Threatening Infections

Oct. 19, 2014

Poop PillsFrozen Poop Pills Fight Life-Threatening Infections:  Fecal transplants to restore good gut bacteria can be life-saving for people with stubborn bacterial infections that do not respond to antibiotics, but the procedure is awkward, requiring a donation of fresh feces – usually from a relative – and a colonoscopy to deliver it, so doctors have come up with a way to make them more palatable – a frozen poop pill.  Or, as they’re known in medical circles – poopsicles.  I guessing there will never be chewable form of this treatment.  Doctors warn patients “now this is gonna taste like s**t.”


Russian SubSweden Claims Sightings of Russian Submarine:  The Swedish military said it had made three credible sightings of foreign undersea activity in its waters during the past few days amid reports of a suspected Russian submarine intrusion in the area.  Military analysts say there’s little reason for concern, adding that the Russian sub is most likely just here to pick up a few things at IKEA.


First Animal SexScientists Claim First Animal Sex Was Done Sideways:  Australian scientists say their research has determined that the first creatures to have sexual intercourse was a fish called antiarchs, and they had sex by pairing side-to-side instead of a missionary style.  Not too surprising.  Everyone likes a little sex on the side.

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

No comments

Carnival Cruise Ship Returning to Texas after Ebola Concern

Oct. 18, 2014

Carnival_Cruise ShipCarnival Cruise Ship Returning to Texas after Ebola Concern:  A company spokeswoman says a Carnival Magic cruise ship was en route back to the United States on Saturday with a passenger from Texas who might have handled specimens of the first Ebola patient diagnosed in the United States but is considered at low risk.  In response, Fox News and CNN are calling for even tougher measures like quarantining people who may have been over-exposed to technical and scientific articles about Ebola.


Wheel of MisfortuneWashington Teacher Told Not to Use Disciplinary Wheel of Misfortune:  School officials say a Washington state high school teacher has been warned not to have students spin a disciplinary “Wheel of Misfortune” to assign punishments for misbehavior that included being pelted with rubber balls by fellow students.  The teacher argued that using a wheel to dish out punishments results in students who receive a more “well-rounded” education.


The EdgeBono Says He Wears Strange Glasses Due to Glaucoma:  In a recent interview, U2 singer Bono revealed that reason that he’s always seen in those strange glasses is because he suffers from glaucoma.  In the same interview, Bono also revealed that fellow band member “The Edge” wears those stocking caps because he frequently moonlights as a longshoreman when the band isn’t touring.

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

No comments

Most of California Man’s Body Eaten by Black Bear

Oct. 17, 2014

Black BearMost of California Man’s Body Eaten by Black Bear:  Authorities believe a 65-year-old Northern California man who was found over half-eaten by a black bear outside of his trailer in a remote area, had most likely died earlier of a heart attack before being eaten.  So much for the advice they always give that “if a bear approaches, stay still pretend that you’re dead.”  Another way to look at it is, I’m signed up to be an organ donor, sounds like this guy must have been a meat donor.


OhioEbola Nurse Says She Felt Funny in Ohio:  Amber Vinson, the second Ebola nurse, told the CDC that she “felt funny” while she was in Ohio.  Why of course she felt “funny” while she was in Ohio, you wouldn’t expect her to take Ohio seriously would you?  This is a state where a river once caught fire for Pete’s sake.


Florida DebateFlorida Gov Scott Holds-Up Debate Over Crist’s Fan:  In what is getting called “Fan-gate,” Republican Gov. Rick Scott refused to come on stage in a televised debate with former Gov. Charlie Crist because Crist had a small fan which Gov. Scott felt broke the rules of no electronics at their podiums during their debate.  Gov. Scott’s people point out that if Crist gets away with bringing a fan to this debate, what’s to stop him from bringing a portable nose hair trimmer, popcorn popper or even a small, flat screen TV to the next debate?

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

No comments

Preliminary Tests Say Yale Student Doesn’t Have Ebola

Oct. 16, 2014

YalePreliminary Tests Say Yale Student Doesn’t Have Ebola:  Preliminary tests show that a Yale University graduate student evaluated at a Connecticut hospital for Ebola-like symptoms does not have the disease.  Clinicians did find that the patient was suffering from an overinflated ego as well as an extreme sense of entitlement, but chalked that all up to fact that the patient is a grad student at Yale.


CometComet May Have Collided With Earth 13,000 Years Ago:  Scientists are claiming that new evidence supports the idea that a huge space rock collided with our planet about 13,000 years ago which was powerful enough to melt the ground and may have killed off many of earth’s large mammals, including many humans.  OK, but why bring it up now?  I would assume that after 13,000 years the “Statutes of Limitations” has long passed to collect any damages.


BisonMontana Decides to Keep Yellowstone Bison in State:  Montana wildlife officials have decided against shipping 145 bison captured from Yellowstone National Park to the Bronx zoo, choosing to send them to an American Indian reservation within the state.  The decision to nix sending them to the Bronx was made after it became apparent to everyone involved that these bison could never become good Yankee fans.

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

No comments

SC Governor Defends Confederate Flag at Statehouse

Oct. 15, 2014

Nikki HaleySC Governor Defends Confederate Flag at Statehouse:  South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley (R) says there was no need to remove the Confederate battle flag from the Statehouse grounds because she can’t think of a single CEO who has ever complained about it.  On the other hand, I can’t think of any CEO’s who’ve complained about bleeding hemorrhoids either, but that’s not exactly an endorsement of bleeding hemorrhoids.


EarthquakeNorthern California Faults Primed for Big Quakes:  According to a recent geological study, three fault segments running beneath Northern California where roughly 15 million people live and near dams and canals that supply much of the state’s water, are overdue for a major earthquake.  On a positive note, if everything slips into the ocean, California’s water worries are over.


RailroadsAl Qaeda Considering Attacks on US Railroads:  Materials found at a captured hideout have prompted Obama administration officials to issue a warning that Al Qaeda may be considering attacks on US railroads.  When asked when they think these attacks would most likely occur, officials responded “all the live-long day.”

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

No comments