Taking rumor and innuendo and passing it all off as journalism

The funniest Comedy Site on the Web (assuming you do the math correctly).

Rubbish In, Robish Out!

News and Analysis for the Heavily Medicated
(as well as those who need to be)

World Famous!

Updated Daily!

Saturday October 25 2014

China Completes First Mission to Moon and Back

  • Reminding citizens that Cleveland wasn't built in a day. It just looks that way.
  • Specializing in taking legitimate news stories and transforming them into complete and utter nonsense
  • This publication is made possible in part by generous contributions from the Women's Christian Temperance Union and the American Society of Professional Colon Hydrotherapists
  • Be sure to bookmark this page and come back just as frequently as local laws permit!
  • The newly built Rubbish In, Robish Out! world headquarters in Canton, Ohio. A local organization of "Concerned Citizens for Decency" argues that this facility appears to be little more than a factory for debauchery, misdeeds and general mayhem.
  • No Animal Testing: In response to the many inquiries from animal rights activists, we emphatically deny the allegations that the jokes found on any these pages have first been tested out on animals.
  • Crowds reacting as the latest issue of Rubbish In, Robish Out! rolls off the presses.
  • A portion of every laugh produced by this website is donated to charity.
  • The Babe at the office!
  • Talk about having a bad day!
  • Above is the lunch counter where the titans of the entertainment industry meet when they say "let's do lunch!"
  • Alltop, all the top stories
  • 081209newsman

Oct. 24, 2014

China Moon LaunchChina Completes First Mission to Moon and Back:  China has launched its first space mission to the moon and back, the latest step forward for Beijing’s ambitious program to one day land a Chinese citizen on the Earth’s only natural satellite.  Guess we don’t have to ask what kind of food they’ll be bringing along.  Meanwhile, back in the USA, televangelists like Pat Roberson are asking “why does it seem to be easier to get a man on the moon than on Rosie O’Donnell?”


White House JumperAnother White House Fence Jumper:  Yet another man made it over the White House fence before he was taken down by a security dog who the man had kicked and punched before Secret Service agents ultimately subdued him.  All indications are the the dog was easily able to fend-off the man’s punches.  Sounds like he must have been a Boxer.


Pot FarmMarijuana Industry Revenues May Soon Surpass the NFL:  A new report says that, if legalized at the federal level, the emerging legalized marijuana industry could reach revenues of $35 billion by 2020, which would make it a bigger industry than the NFL.  Well, when you think about it, the two industries actually are very similar in that they both involve people blissfully rolling around in grass.

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

No comments

New Duckbill Dinosaur Uncovered

Oct. 23, 2014

DeinocheirusNew Duckbill Dinosaur Uncovered:  Scientists have uncovered a powerful dinosaur in Mongolia they’re calling Deinocheirus, that was 16 feet tall, 36 feet long, weighed seven tons, had a duckbill on its head and a hump-like sail on its back that some researchers say can only be described as “goofy-looking and weird.”  I understand that this may not be some paleontologist’s favorite dinosaur, but why resort to name calling?


Snake on PlaneSnake in Cockpit Terrorizes Pilot During Landing:  A terrified Australian pilot was forced to make a harrowing landing reminiscent of a Hollywood thriller after a large snake popped out from behind his dashboard and then slithered down his leg as he was attempting to land the plane.  Ironically, had this been a JetBlue flight, it would have been the snake who was terrified.


Desert FoxDesert Solar Project Threatened by Fox Distemper Issues:  One of California’s showcase solar projects, under construction in the desert east of LA, is being threatened by an outbreak of “distemper” among local foxes.  In an effort to save the project, project managers have offered to send the foxes to free anger management classes.

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

No comments

UK Man Faked Coma for Two Years to Avoid Court

Oct. 22, 2014

Faked ComaUK Man Faked Coma for Two Years to Avoid Court:  British police were able to catch a fraudster who pretended to be quadriplegic and sometimes comatose for  over two years to avoid prosecution by his supermarket loyalty card usage that allowed them to film him driving and strolling around supermarkets.  I feel sorry for his poor wife after being repeatedly told “not tonight dear, I’m comatose.”  Police say the guy was so good, even possums were envious.  And claiming to be quadriplegic?  Why legally, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.


Wind PowerMexico Steps Up Wind Power:  A late-comer to wind power, new data indicates that Mexico is dramatically stepping up its investment in wind technology.  And certainly many of us are reminded of the potential of Mexican “wind power” every time we leave an El Torito’s restaurant.


21st Annual ELLE Women In Hollywood AwardsMany Shocked at Rene Zellweger’s New Look:  Everyone is talking about how completely different Rene Zellweger looked at the at Elle’s Women in Hollywood awards recently, having apparently had such dramatic plastic surgery that it changed the shape of her face to the point where some had trouble recognizing her.  I don’t understand why everyone who’s so hell-bent on judging her new look doesn’t take a step back and consider the fact that just maybe she’s committed a serious crime and is now trying to hide her identity.

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

No comments

Researchers Say Any Physical Activity Can Lower Alzheimer’s Risk

Oct. 21, 2014

3321-000125Researchers Say Any Physical Activity Can Lower Alzheimer’s Risk:  While its well documented that exercise can lower the risk of Alzheimer’s in seniors, a group of researchers are claiming that any kind of physical activity, such as washing dishes, cooking, cleaning and gardening also significantly reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s.  And in a selfless effort to eradicate this dreaded disease, researches are inviting seniors in the area to drop by their homes to cook, clean and wash dishes for them.


Comet Past MarsMountain-Sized Comet Whizzes Past Mars:  A comet the size of a small mountain whizzed past Mars, dazzling space enthusiasts with the once-in-a-million-years encounter.  I was actually a little busy that night, so I thought I’d just wait and catch it the next time it comes around.


Happy Newlyweds in Front of MansionPoll Defines Differences Over Women Keeping Last Name:  According to a new poll, 57 percent of people think a married woman should take whichever name she pleases, whether it’s her husband’s, her own or a hyphenated combination of the two, while 31 percent believe a woman should take her husband’s name after marriage.  Researchers say they were quite surprised to find that nearly 7 percent of respondents felt a woman should take her next door neighbor’s last name.

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

No comments

Working Overtime Linked to Depression

Oct. 20, 2014

Working OvertimeWorking Overtime Linked to Depression:  A new study found that people who work a lot of overtime have a more-than-doubled risk of a major depressive episode, compared with those who work the standard eight-hour day.  Researches say the workers don’t immediately become depressed, it just happens “over time.”


SwansMan Drowns After Being Attacked By Swans:  An Illinois man has drowned after getting attacked by the swans in the pond that he was employed to take care of.  Let’s hope this incident makes parents think twice about telling their ugly-duckling children that they’ll one-day turn into swans.


Guns Controlled by MindFuture Weapons May Be Mentally Controlled:  British researchers say new advances in neuroscience could allow future soldiers to control weapons systems simply by using their minds, thereby allowing paralyzed people to use weapons also.  Its touching to know that no one’s gonna be left out on all the killing.

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

No comments

Frozen Poop Pills Fight Life-Threatening Infections

Oct. 19, 2014

Poop PillsFrozen Poop Pills Fight Life-Threatening Infections:  Fecal transplants to restore good gut bacteria can be life-saving for people with stubborn bacterial infections that do not respond to antibiotics, but the procedure is awkward, requiring a donation of fresh feces – usually from a relative – and a colonoscopy to deliver it, so doctors have come up with a way to make them more palatable – a frozen poop pill.  Or, as they’re known in medical circles – poopsicles.  I guessing there will never be chewable form of this treatment.  Doctors warn patients “now this is gonna taste like s**t.”


Russian SubSweden Claims Sightings of Russian Submarine:  The Swedish military said it had made three credible sightings of foreign undersea activity in its waters during the past few days amid reports of a suspected Russian submarine intrusion in the area.  Military analysts say there’s little reason for concern, adding that the Russian sub is most likely just here to pick up a few things at IKEA.


First Animal SexScientists Claim First Animal Sex Was Done Sideways:  Australian scientists say their research has determined that the first creatures to have sexual intercourse was a fish called antiarchs, and they had sex by pairing side-to-side instead of a missionary style.  Not too surprising.  Everyone likes a little sex on the side.

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

No comments