Taking rumor and innuendo and passing it all off as journalism

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Tuesday February 20 2018

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John Kelly Chides Immigrants Too Lazy to Sign Up for Daca

Feb. 06, 2018

John Kelly Chides Immigrants Too Lazy to Sign Up for Daca:  In defending President Trump’s new immigration proposal, chief of staff John Kelly implied that many Dreamers may have been just “too lazy to get off their asses” to go and sign up for the protection.  In defending Kelly’s statement, Congressional Republicans are quick to point out that anyone who’s observed President Trump’s work ethic as closely as John Kelly has, ought to have a pretty good grasp of what “too lazy to get off their ass” really looks like.


Elon Musk’s Powerful Rocket Launches Tesla Roadster Towards Mars:  Elon Musk and SpaceX have successfully used the world’s most powerful “Falcon Heavy” rocket to launch a $100,000 cherry red Tesla Roadster towards Mars.  Guess they may as well send that beautiful Tesla off towards Mars.  Hell, not very many of us can afford them here.


Study Finds Dogs More Likely to Bite Anxious People:  Contrary to popular belief, a new study found that while dogs probably can’t smell fear, they do seem to respond to fearful people with more aggressive behavior.  Well, if that’s the case, I had better hope there are no dogs around when I’m in line for my next colonoscopy.

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