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Tuesday February 20 2018

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Succotash Suffering Up Dramatically With Trump Budget Cuts

Feb. 12, 2018

Succotash Suffering Up Dramatically With Trump Budget Cuts:  A new study out of the University of Saskatchewan in Canada has found that the number of suffering succotash in the United States has dramatically increased this past year, as succotash funding has all but dried up with the Trump Administration’s policy of benign neglect toward succotash.


The succotash situation is said to be especially dire in red states, where compassion for what is considered to be primarily a vegetable recipe – has all but evaporated in recent years.  And while no one is quite saying “succotash sucks,” most seem totally unconcerned about the fate of this depression era mainstay.  And now, with funding almost completely gone – it appears that the unfortunate succotash – will soon be forced to suffer in silence.  Experts refer to this phenomena as Silent Succotash Suffering (SSS) and believe me – its not a pretty thing to watch.


To bolster their research, Saskatchewan succotash scientists traveled to Texas to interview numerous members of the legislature there and found very little sympathy for succotash suffering – a state where beef cattle are such a driving force in the economy.  When contacted about the issue, a spokesperson for the Independent Cattlemen’s Association of Texas would only say that “quite frankly, we are far too busy with meatier issues than to worry ourselves over what’s basically a vegetable dish.”


That said, the good news is there apparently are still enough caring citizens who are brave enough to ask the question “who’ll speak for the succotash?”  Well, the answer to this and other succotash concerns are expected to be addressed by certified succotash scientists during the “September Spectacular Suffering Succotash Symposium of Saskatchewan.”  Admission is just $100 Canadian and of course lunch (don’t ask) will be served.

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