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Tuesday February 20 2018

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Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs

Nov. 07, 2017

Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs:  Because the White House kitchen staff often couldn’t match the satisfaction of a quarter-pounder with cheese (no pickles, extra ketchup) and a fried apple pie, Trump bodyguard Keith Schiller was frequently dispatched to head down to the New York Avenue McDonald’s on a stealth fast food run.  So, he has the best chefs in the navy at his disposal – ready to prepare anything he wants 24/7 – and he still prefers McDonald’s?  This poses the question, which comes first – the heart attack or the impeachment?  Luckily for Trump, he’s still gonna have great health insurance – even after the Republicans take it away from the rest of us.


Oldest Known Pottery Found in China:  Archaeologists say pottery fragments found in a south China cave have been confirmed to be 20,000 years old, making them the oldest known pottery in the world.  Scientists caution that while the pottery is historically significant, it shouldn’t be considered microwave safe.


Couple Tries to Blow Up Vehicle with Tampons:  A Pennsylvania couple has been charged with attempted arson, public drunkenness, and criminal mischief for attempting to blow up a Ford Fusion by stuffing tampons in the gas tank and motor oil compartment and igniting them.  Police warn that had the couple been successful, the situation could have quickly turned into a blood-bath.

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