Taking rumor and innuendo and passing it all off as journalism

The funniest Comedy Site on the Web (assuming you do the math correctly).

Rubbish In, Robish Out!

News and Analysis for the Heavily Medicated
(as well as those who need to be)

World Famous!

Updated Daily!

Monday May 30 2016

  • Reminding citizens that Cleveland wasn't built in a day. It just looks that way.
  • This publication is made possible in part by generous contributions from the Women's Christian Temperance Union and the American Society of Professional Colon Hydrotherapists
  • Be sure to bookmark this page and come back just as frequently as local laws permit!
  • The newly built Rubbish In, Robish Out! world headquarters in Canton, Ohio. A local organization of "Concerned Citizens for Decency" argues that this facility appears to be little more than a factory for debauchery, misdeeds and general mayhem.
  • No Animal Testing: In response to the many inquiries from animal rights activists, we emphatically deny the allegations that the jokes found on any these pages have first been tested out on animals.
  • Crowds reacting as the latest issue of Rubbish In, Robish Out! rolls off the presses.
  • A portion of every laugh produced by this website is donated to charity.
  • Talk about having a bad day!
  • Above is the lunch counter where the titans of the entertainment industry meet when they say "let's do lunch!"
  • Alltop, all the top stories
  • 081209newsman

Urinalysis by Smartphone App

Feb. 28, 2013

cell-phoneUrinalysis by Smartphone App:  An Indian biotech company wants to replace costly medical equipment that medical centers use for urinalysis with a simple smartphone app, broadening and advancing the mobile health market.  Makes sense to me!   I can’t even count all the times when I’ve thought – piss on this damn cellphone.


How Dinosaurs Grew World’s Longest Necks:  After years of trying to determine exactly how sauropod dinosaurs were able to grow the world’s longest necks, scientists now think they became that long because of their hollow neck bones.  And to think all this time everyone just assumed it was from peeking into their neighbor’s back yards. 


PessimistPessimists May Live Longer:  A group of researchers found that compared with their counterparts with a sunnier outlook, older people who are more pessimistic tend to live longer, healthier lives.  When asked if they believed they’ll live a longer, healthier life, most pessimists said “I seriously doubt it.”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather
  • I guess that for Death there’s just no fun in grimly reaping pessimists. While optimists scream and shout in the hope that Death might change his (or quite possibly her) mind, pessimists are just like “whatever.” No fun at all.

    • Johnny Robish

      I didn’t add it to the joke, because a joke can’t be too wordy, but the study claimed the reason pessimists live longer is they have lower expectations.

  • Haha! Therefore, ageing pessimists are generally happier with their lot in life and in turn healthier? I guess it makes sense…

  • News Archives

  • Caution: Use this site only as directed!
  • Blue Shirt B&W Cropped
  • For our international friends, this site is also available in Russian, Italian, French, Thousand Island and Blu Cheese.
  • We at Rubbish In, Robish Out have been taking great pains to avoid ending sentences in prepositions. Certainly that must be worth something.
  • Be sure to follow me on Twitter @johnnyrobish
  • Disclaimer: Any similarity between what you read on these pages and reality is most likely purely coincidental.
  • Today proudly celebrating 15 consecutive days without anyone sustaining a personal injury as a result of this website!
  • Be sure to check out the thousands of original jokes in our archives pages!
  • Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Warren G. Harding
  • Satirical Humor Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory
  • Workers at Rubbish In, Robish Out demanding more beer. No one can be expected to work at a place like this sober. The Supreme Court has ruled against cruel and unusual punishment for heaven's sake.
  • The Webcomic List